Dad Duties & Drawing

"Of course, you must do what you need to do." that was a comment, 15 years ago, that my then boss made to me. I didn't really want to leave, but with my first child on the way, I needed more money and took a bigger job in the neighbouring city. It was the worst decision I ever made. Working in the city meant long commutes and my son and family that I was so keen to provide for? I was never home. I missed bedtimes, afterschool clubs and as they got older I missed more and more. I was absent from all of my children's first nativities, sports days, and leavers events. So keen was I to provide an income, that I tolerated an awful lot... I hated it, hated what I had become and the notion of being a great dad? Well, I didn't like the absent version I was becoming...

Covid came and initially, before I had to go back to work I was at home schools in the UK closed. This meant I was at home with my children and even in those horrendous times, it was precious as I got to be with them. I made my mind up that I would leave and find a new job... It wasn't easy, the cost financially would be huge, but to be present in my family and children's lives is priceless.

Why do I start a jovial blog like this? Probably because there are so many people, who when they read this, can identify with how we as parents wrestle to give our children the best, often at huge personal cost each and every day. I read, and I wish I could remember where from, that you have to pick your sacrifice. You can't have it all, well you can try but you won't be well so instead you must pick what to invest in. Money? Career? House? Children? When you choose you can go all in. For me it wasn't much of a sacrifice, I wanted to be present, in the moment, being part of my children's life.

Which is why the title of today's post 'Dad duties and drawing' really means how do we stay that ever-present parent while at the same time pursuing an interest such as art? I'll go through a few of my go-to strategies for doing this.

Tips to Balance "Dad Drawing"

Chris is a freelance writer & illustrator. Thanks for checking out our site. You can stay up to date with our blog, comics and artwork by signing up to our FREE newsletter.

Another problem that parents face when embarking on a project or hobby is that they beat themselves up for wanting to spend time on anything else other than their children. Our internal monologue tells us we're horrible parents if we don't maximise our time with them which just isn't true. To quieten this voice, especially in the art/ craft sphere my advice would be to involve them. If you want to be a writer or artist, create stories and pictures they would enjoy, include them in the idea process. My comic Chicken Grit & the Mutant Furies, is a combination of my illustrations and a whole heap of their ideas. As I started to write it I showed them pictures and asked them to read draft versions. This process of including them in rather than desperately trying to shut them out of a project has massively helped free myself of 'parental guilt' and I'm sure it will you!

I had a lot of titles and roles in previous jobs and to be honest the title itself was worthless, it was how fulfilling and good I was in doing the job that gave me satisfaction. In the same way, being a good dad is more than just the title instead it is this constant need to do things that might stop you from focusing on yourself, as you feel guilty. I firmly believe children just want your time and energy, but if you're so exhausted what quality time is it that you're able to give them?

Drawing, craft, and art, in general, are incredibly relaxing, allowing you to switch off and recharge your batteries so that when you go back to 'dad mode' you can do it with more energy! There's an analogy that if a plane is crashing you'd want the pilot to save themselves because it's only then that they can save everyone else so focusing on yourself once in a while isn't selfish - it's the complete opposite!

Finally, there are the clubs your children go to that don't allow you to be by the sidelines and so you're sat in your car waiting. Instead of being frustrated by trapped time, instead use it to bank a few hobby hours.! This is what I do, I take my iPad, sketchpad, and book that I'm reading to develop my skills. Many a time I will use this to finish off a drawing or draft sketches.

Whatever your project, hopefully these tips will help. I'd love to know what you do to balance parenting and projects.

While I would not support the use of AI in art at all; the use of AI to timetable your day, weeks, and months can be invaluable. As a dad, if I'm not at work, I'm picking up the children, taking them to sports clubs, watching their matches or picking them up from friends. If it's not that, I'm doing "The BIG shop", going for petrol. Sound familiar? I'm sure it does and we haven't even included going out for the occasional meal or cinema! It's easy to think when you list it like this "How is there any time for an art project?" That is where AI can help.

Using ChatGPT, I typed what I wanted to achieve as a writer and illustrator (you can read all about developing your vision by clicking here) but crucially I included all the routine events I went to across the week, all my children's clubs and commitments and all the family events I went to. I then told it my regular work commitments and asked it to make me a weekly schedule. Within seconds it had created a realistic timetable that was clear, and easy to follow, and crucially it didn't allow me to say "I don't have time". ChatGPT is free for the basic version and it seems to love organising things (at least more than my brain does!)